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But dating sites are like gyms — sure, you sort of know how to use all of the tools, but you’re probably not maximizing them.And worse, if you do it wrong, you could actually be hurting yourself. It can turn a “maybe” into a “yes” or “yes” into a “no.” My friend and client Sarah told me, “One guy wrote me an absolutely adorable poem about me after reading I was a poet.I don’t know if you know New Paltz, but it’s this really cool, artsy little town only about an hour and a half north of NYC.Most people don’t realize how quickly it turns into country and green and grass and trees when you leave the city. They had the back doors and windows open, so this beautiful breeze smelling of earth and blossoms and fresh cut grass was constantly wafting around us. Having a message riddled with mistakes says either you’re lazy, uninterested, or plain old stupid. While I know we use a form of shorthand texting with our friends, this is not texting, and these people aren’t your friends.
Just because you posted a picture of yourself up doesn’t make it OK for her to point out your beer belly or balding spot. Bad Example: “I can tell you like the beach as you have a few pics up there.If you’re actually looking for someone special, I think you can manage a minute’s worth of typing.Good Example: “I love the fact that you have a picture of yourself at a renaissance festival! ” Yes, dating is all about getting to know each other, sharing, and learning, but there is plenty of time for that down the road. You may have so much in common with each other that you just have to tell him all about it.I know men aren’t as verbally communicative as women, but this is just not going to cut it.According to Ok Cupid, the ideal message length is only 200 characters, which is a little bit more than a tweet.
However, it can come across as creepy, scary, and disconcerting.